I grew up in a predominantly Christian world.
My parents didn’t worship, but most everyone else in my family was firmly Baptist. You would think with that being the case that I would have ended up exactly the same.
I’ve read the Bible. The whole thing. Cover to cover. The Old Testament and the New. Nothing in there ever resonated with me. I called myself an Atheist. There was nothing that would make me believe that there was this omniscient and omnipotent being out there that created everything that we see (and don’t) around us. It never made any sense.
That’s not to say that I never felt that there wasn’t something out there. I just never felt that only one such being could possibly be responsible for what I know of the world.
Maybe it’s that I just couldn’t put a definition to it. Maybe I just hadn’t lived enough of my life to really see things in the right perspective. Maybe I’m just typing all of this out to get it off of my chest and get it out there in the open so that I can clear my mind for so many other possibilities.
My mind has always had a more analytical approach I suppose. Science has always been one my biggest interests in life. Things could be explained. There was almost always an explanation for what was mysterious. This, of course, does not apply to everything. There are things just cannot be explained or discovered by science alone.
I believe that I’m rambling, and that’s okay. Deal with it.
I once did a paper on the similarities between the Bible and Greek/Roman mythology. This was a summer project that I did before I entered my AP English class during my Senior year of high school which now seems so long ago. I found that the concept of a pantheon of Gods was intriguing. But, I never really looked further into it. School got in the way of that like it normally does.
Enter 2017. I’m stressed. I acknowledge that it is true. I hold too many of it in and I know that my wife and friends worry about me. They tell me that I work too much, and perhaps that is true, but what can I do? I want to make sure that my family is taken care of. I want there to be a roof over our heads, food on the table, and dammit I want my games so that I can wind down after a 10 hour day of dealing with people’s dirty clothes. I own a dry cleaning drop off location and it does very well, but come on people, take a bath once in a while! Errm…. end rant.
Perhaps the stress is leading me to have a much shorter fuse on my tempter than it normally has. I’ve been snippy with customers which really isn’t a good thing. I’ve snapped at my son and that ends up making me even more mad than I was before. I even talk about my wife (when I’m by myself) and the things that irritate me. I suppose that’s self-therapy, though, as it gets off my chest and I talk it over and make sense of things.
Yes, I talk to myself. Complete conversations, even arguments. Again. Deal with it.
Okay, the talking to myself isn’t new…
Where was I going with all of this? Right!
The concept of a pantheon of Gods.
More back story! I was a young man (still am, shut your trap) and I had fairly strong interest in this older lady. She was a Wiccan. Well, you know how things go. Person has an interest in another person and starts becoming interested in that other person’s interests. But, again, I never really looked into it. I learned a tiny amount, but I knew nothing of the religion itself. She often used “Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again” when greeting or departing. Honestly, it sounded wonderful, but she never spoke of which God and Goddess that she worshipped. She had told me that she was a witch. Okay, cool. I never looked into it again. I ended up becoming involved with someone else and that was a year and a half that I don’t regret, but I think I might not do it again if I could go back in time.
The interest came back this year. Wicca. Such an intriguing religion, and it is a religion. Wiccans just don’t have anything like a Bible. They do, however, have a set of beliefs that works for them. The kicker. Those beliefs make sense. Beliefs? Basic tenets? It’s all the same.
I’ve been reading Wicca for Beginners: Fundamentals of Philosophy & Practice by Thea Sabin. I’m about halfway through it at the moment due to only reading while I’m at work. That means that I’m reading in between customers and catching up on TV shows downloaded through Amazon Prime and Netflix. Don’t judge.
Anyway. I’ve finally, after all this time, found something that I think that I can believe in. That’s kind of crazy to me. Kind of? No, it is.
I started reading up on Wicca maybe three weeks ago by finding various websites that could give me information on it. There are a lot and half of them give different information than the others, but that makes sense to me just this short time in. There are many different paths that Wiccans take on their spiritual journey. Things are going to be different from one person to the next.
The oddest part for me is my increased calm during the day. It’s weird. I can’t explain it, but while reading into the Wiccan religion I find that I’m calmer than I was just a month ago. All this gibberish above this paragraph leads to that.
I can certainly ramble on, can’t I? I won’t go into details about Wicca itself until I’ve read a lot more about it. I don’t want to spread any falsehoods to the one or two people who may read this. I will, however, leave this one single phrase that Wiccans try to live by:
“An it harm none, do as you will.”
And with that it is completely possible that my own spiritual journey has begun.