Yesterday was Easter so the early part of the day was spent with family. That’s a good thing, and it’s something that I should do more often. It’s something that I haven’t done enough of in the past, and that really hit home when I took a different turn instead of going home afterwards.
I don’t know why I turned the way that I did. It just felt like something that I needed to do, and so I did it. My son was confused and asked me where we were going. I didn’t really say anything because I wasn’t really sure how to say it. We went a ways down the road and I even ended up missing my turn. It had been so long since I had gone that way that I had forgotten exactly which turn that I needed to take.
We turned around and went back and found the turn that I needed. Even then, driving down this other road, I wasn’t sure that it was the right road. It felt like we had been driving too long.
Then it was there, off to the right. The graveyard where my grandfather is buried. Somewhere that I haven’t been in probably 6 or 7 years, and then only one other time before that; the day that he was laid to rest.
We parked and headed in. I figured that I would go in and spend a few minutes just standing or sitting there. I had no idea that I would be crying before I even got halfway there. Thinking about it has me tearing up even now. You see, I loved that man and I’m not sure that I ever showed it enough. I regret all of the times that I could have visited and didn’t because I was busy or tired.
I miss the times that I was there while I was growing up. I miss the times that we spent sitting on the river bank fishing for nothing but the occasional perch and mostly hornyheads. I’m not even sure what those particular fish are really called, but hey, that works for me. Watching him catch a fish with a flower on a hook is something that I will never forget. I wish that I had helped him gather bales of hay more often than I did. I miss seeing him dressed up as a way too skinny Santa Clause for the kids at Christmas.
I can’t fix what I never did, but I can certainly learn from it. My son will learn to cherish the time spent with his family. We will do what we can to make it out to visit family more often than we have. He hasn’t done that, and it’s my fault and for that I apologize.
You can’t get back the time that you’ve lost with your loved ones. Time that could have been, and should be, spent with them. Cherish the memories that you have but make more of them while you have the chance.