Streaming is an escape

There are some people that put in a ton of work to make their streams as great as they are. Well, that happens to be what it takes to make it when it comes right down to it. Hard work and dedication are what makes the world “go round.” Our society depends and thrives on those two qualities. You may disagree with that, and that is okay, but it is the truth.

It takes a lot of work to make your stream worthwhile for someone else to watch and then contribute to your ongoing success. Have I personally seen that kind of success? I would not say so. Why not? I am not working hard for it, and I will explain why.

Gaming has always been an activity that I have enjoyed. I took it fairly seriously at one point in time and that caused me no small amount of stress. It has caused grades to plummet, friendships to deteriorate, and relationships to fall apart. It may have even been a cause for my marriage to fall apart, but there were many other factors than that.

I would spend an inordinate amount of time researching information on whatever game that I was burning my time in. My brain would be so stuck on doing things gaming related that I would neglect so many other things around me. It would almost be a burning desire to get everything done quickly just to get back into my game.

That all brings to mind one game in particular which brought me a very large amount of stress and heartache. It was also the game that introduced me to massively multiplayer online games.

Underlight. It was not a game that had a huge player base. In fact, it was always a small yet thriving and close community. The entire premise of the game was that it was entirely player driven and role-play based. There were zero non-player characters to interact with. There were a few “monsters” that you could hunt for experience, but every quest that you completed in the game was developed and run by the players themselves. I will not get into the meat of that, but I am sure that you can understand the friendships that could be formed by such a system.

I was a Teacher in Underlight. Players could come to me for those quests in order to improve their skills. I was a prominent figure in the House that I helped run. These things caused me to work outside of the game in order to make the experience of others better, and that may have broken me.

Now, my gaming time is for me, and I do not research anything outside of those games. There are hardly even times that I read patch notes unless I am very curious about what is going to change in something like Diablo 3. Gaming is entertainment, and I want my entertainment to be stress-free, so I made it that way for myself. It has worked way better than I ever imagined that it would.

So, why do I stream? Does that add more stress to my life?

The simple answer to the second question is that it adds zero stress to my life. I am not one who is going to get worked up about something like streaming. The numbers mean very little to me. I am happy to see others succeed and work towards their personal goal of making streaming a full-time job. Personally, I already have a full-time job, and I do not really want a second one, so I approach streaming a little differently.

I am naturally a person that does not seek out human contact or conversation. These are not things that I crave. In fact I attempt to avoid them if I ever have to go out for one reason or another. It is not that I hate people, though I may say that from time to time. It is more along the lines of me not being comfortable interacting with other humans face to face.

Some do say that humans are not built to be alone. We are not made to avoid interaction with others and that we need that interaction to survive and thrive. I say that is not true for every single human on this planet. I do not seek conversation with others. I avoid it, and I have been happier for that.

Streaming is another story altogether. I wasn’t even nervous starting out back in November of 2018. I dove head first into it after purchasing what I needed, in my mind, to make it work. It was just something that I was going to add to my gaming time. Why? I will admit that I was feeling my loneliness at the time, and I wanted a way to interact with others without having to be in close proximity.

Yes, I work in a public setting and interact with people all day, but that is so completely different from interacting with others outside of a work environment. I am forced to do so from a business stand point.

Streaming is different. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that my game time is a time in which I can leave everything else behind. Perhaps I can interact with other humans this way, because I do not have to look into their eyes and come up with something to talk about. I can be myself. The fact that I may be a dull person sitting there in front of the camera does not matter. I am doing this for me, not for my viewers. That may not sit well with some, but at the end of the day, that is really what we are all doing.

I am not out there networking and trying to get more viewers or followers. I have been hovering around 75 followers for awhile now (Yes, I know my numbers. I just don’t stress about them). There are a few regulars that hop into my channel to either chat with me or to join my game. Yes, I am relatively active on Twitter, and that may have started as an attempt to draw people in, but now it is more about me interacting with others in a digital medium. I enjoy that for whatever reason.

Hey, maybe those people are correct when they say that the human brain needs interaction with other humans after all. We just do not all have to do that in person.

Streaming also happens to be an escape for me. It is a time in which I can set all of worries and stresses aside for a little while. My business fades away, and I can relax. My troubles take a seat in the back and let enjoyment drive for a time. My mind gets to let go of everything that might be troubling it. I feel like I get to open up a little more than normal. It all felt weird at one point, but now it feels as though it is completely normal.

Now, I feel like I am rambling, and I will end this.

Y’all have yourselves a spectacular day!

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